What is good for the goose, is good for the gander!

Some time ago, I met a certain married man. We became acquaintances as we shared some professional and business interests.

One day, while we were sitting out together, he received a phone call. The conversation seemed to last an eternity, and when it ended, the man broke down in deep, uncontrollable sobs. I initially feared that he had lost someone dear to him, but upon further inquiry, he shared a story that inspired today’s topic.

This married man had left his wife and children behind in one of the Western countries and relocated to Nigeria for reasons unknown to me. He was financially comfortable and already had a lot going well for him, so his decision to move was puzzling.

While living in Nigeria, his wife’s female relative stayed with him, ostensibly to assist with domestic chores and ensure he had proper meals. However, this man, seemingly forgetting his marital vows and commitment, began to date multiple women with reckless abandon—so much so that even some single men would have marvelled at his audacity. For him, life had become an endless party.

Gradually, his visits to his wife and children dwindled. Whenever she complained, he dismissed her, accusing her of being overly clingy and idle. According to him, she needed to “get a life” and focus on raising the children—as though raising children was merely a woman’s way of fulfilling her emotional needs!

But on that fateful day, this self-proclaimed “man’s man” broke down in tears before me. Why? His wife had started having affairs in the city, where he had abandoned her and the children for extended periods. The most painful part for him, he confessed, was that one of her lovers was a man he personally knew and who had once held him in high regard. That was before he irresponsibly deserted his family. He had, no doubt, taken his wife’s deep love and loyalty for granted.

This revelation left me pondering: why does everyone demand faithfulness in a relationship, even those who are unfaithful themselves?

I asked him why he was crying, given that he had been indulging in affairs far more freely than even a responsible single man would dare to. My question seemed to anger him. He accused me of being insensitive and of siding with his “adulterous” wife—an accusation rooted in his own selfish reasoning.

Life operates on the principle of sowing and reaping. Whatever you give out will inevitably find its way back to you in greater measure. The harvest always exceeds the seed. If you cannot bear the thought of your partner being unfaithful, then do not be the one to betray them first!

Temptation is universal—it comes to men and women, married and single alike. That is a given. But whether or not you yield to it is entirely within your control.

Do not be a hypocrite in your relationship. Treat your partner exactly as you wish to be treated—not only in their presence but, more importantly, in their absence. What goes around eventually comes around.

One verse of scripture that should be a guiding principle for anyone in a relationship, especially those who are married, is Proverbs 6:26, which warns: “Adultery reduces a man to a piece of bread.”

Cheating and disloyalty are dishonourable. They are not signs of strength, power, or royalty. Stay true, because what is good for the goose may soon become just as tempting for the gander!

Do you feel me?

Sharoneez Emephia