Don’t work-shame your partner or spouse!

It was quite shocking, to say the least, when two different married men confided in me that their wives were unaware of the nature of their jobs. Both men worked in separate organisations but had chosen to keep their professions a secret because they felt their jobs were not dignified enough.

Similarly, a woman once told me that she had no idea what kind of work her husband did. He left home early in the morning every day and returned late at night, completely exhausted. She had tried to find out what exactly he did to earn the little money he provided for their upkeep—especially since the business he was engaged in before their marriage had been severely affected by the current economic crisis. However, he refused to tell her. He simply left at sunrise and returned at sunset.

A couple of weeks ago, I also saw a female commercial driver calling for passengers to fill her vehicle. I deeply admired her courage—not only for taking on a job traditionally dominated by men but also for engaging in work that many would consider beneath a woman of a certain social class. As I observed her, I wondered whether she had a significant other—a boyfriend or husband—and whether he was aware of and supportive of her means of earning a living.

These different scenarios made me reflect on why someone would keep the nature of their work a secret from their partner or spouse. For a moment, I imagined that the reason these individuals hid their occupations was due to the fear of being “work-shamed” by their significant others. Perhaps they worried that their jobs were not considered prestigious enough.

However, the truth remains: there is dignity in labour. No one should allow themselves to be belittled for earning an honest living, as long as their work is legal, puts food on the table, and pays the bills. It is far more honourable to engage in legitimate work—no matter how modest—than to be financially dependent on others. Living off handouts or being a prolonged burden to others is neither respectable nor desirable.

If your partner or spouse is struggling to find a job that matches their previous status or preferred profession but has the skills and willingness to take on any legitimate work to support themselves, encourage them. Continue to respect them, regardless of the nature of their job.

Be supportive and never make them feel ashamed or embarrassed for taking on work that may seem beneath their previous social or financial standing. Life is unpredictable, and difficult times do not last forever. Encourage your partner to persevere, reminding them that their situation can improve—but only if they are willing to roll up their sleeves and work.

There is dignity in labour. Whatever your hands find to do, do it with dedication and commitment. Remember, blessings come from the work of your hands, not just from grand ideas that remain unexecuted.

So, start something—no matter how small. Every great achievement begins with a single step.

Do NOT work-shame your partner or spouse. Instead, encourage and uplift them.

Until next time, keep living, keep loving, and keep pursuing your dreams.

Much love,

Sharoneez Emephia