The Christmas I couldn’t speak with My Mother

I grew up in a closely knit family, so family interactions and friendships have always been an integral part of my life, something I cherish deeply and would not trade for anything in the world.

In pursuit of destiny and personal life goals, however, each of us, my siblings and I gradually left home over the decades, leaving our parents in the company of younger nieces and nephews, who helped around the house while pursuing their own education close to where our parents live.

Initially, it was relatively easy to travel back and forth to visit my parents, spending time with them before returning to the city where I live and work. But over the years, the road network between my location and my parents’ residence has deteriorated significantly. A journey that once took just over five hours now often stretches to 12–15 hours or more. Soaring airfares have made flying increasingly difficult too. Consequently, I thankfully resorted to daily video calls to stay connected with my elderly parents whenever travelling was not feasible.

A few years ago, while involved in a series of entertainment projects that extended into the Christmas season, I found myself unable to travel home. I sent their Christmas gifts via courier and made plans to speak with them regularly through video calls throughout the festive period.

However, on Christmas Day, an unexplainable network disruption caused major telecommunications failures. Phone calls would not connect. I struggled throughout the day, desperately trying to reach my parents especially my mother but to no avail.

I felt incredibly sad and was close to tears. In that moment, I began to understand, in a deeper and more painful way, the grief of those who have lost their parents, those who yearn to reach out, only to be confronted with the irreversible silence of death.

This experience made me appreciate my elderly parents even more when I was finally able to speak with them the following day, Boxing Day.

If you are fortunate enough to still have your parents, siblings, and loved ones, treasure every opportunity to enjoy one another’s company. If the pursuit of life’s goals has led your family to live apart, take full advantage of technology to keep in touch. Celebrate and cherish each other as often as you can, because there may come a day when reaching out is no longer possible.

To this day, I still remember how heartbroken I felt that Christmas when I could neither see nor speak with my mother. It remains one of the saddest Christmases I have ever experienced, the Christmas I couldn’t speak with my mum.

Sharoneez Emephia