Committee of Friends:Sincere interest or financial hazard?*

Growing up in Benin City, one of the major cities in South-South Nigeria, my family and I often witnessed weddings almost every weekend. It was during those times that I first heard the term “Committee of Friends.”

This group typically comprised the closest friends of the bride and groom, whose primary role was to provide physical and emotional support to the couple. They ensured that the wedding programme ran smoothly, that food, drinks, and souvenirs—mostly provided by the couple and occasionally supplemented by their families—were adequately distributed among guests. Their involvement was mainly a gesture of support, both in presence and effort.

Fast forward to today, and the meaning of Committee of Friends has taken a dramatic turn. Whenever you hear the term, you can almost be certain that stress and financial burdens are about to follow. Sadly, many people have begun to abuse their friendships by developing an unhealthy sense of entitlement. This misplaced expectation makes them believe that their friends, associates, and acquaintances are responsible for funding every event in their lives—from birthdays and weddings to child naming ceremonies, dedications, and even their children’s school fees.

This is an alarming trend that is fast becoming the norm. People are frequently added to various support groups for all sorts of personal projects, without considering that their friends also have significant financial responsibilities of their own. Some have become so accustomed to this practice that it often takes their friends protesting before they reconsider their actions.

It is not reasonable to conceive extravagant plans for an event and then expect friends and associates—who were never part of the initial planning process—to foot the bill. As adults, we should learn to live within our means. It is honourable to budget realistically and fund our own events rather than imposing financial obligations on others. Just because friends have supported you once does not mean they should be continuously burdened with personal expenses. Repeatedly relying on others to finance your private celebrations and projects, without considering their own struggles in the same harsh economic climate, is both unfair and inconsiderate.

Friendships and privileges should not be abused. Not every personal event requires billing your friends—it reflects poorly on your character when you make a habit of it. We are all aware of the current economic hardship affecting many, including those friends you frequently request financial support.

If you must form a Committee of Friends to support you through a difficult situation, let it be for genuinely unforeseen and exceptional circumstances. if you find yourself doing so more than once, ensure that there is a significant gap between such requests.

Always plan ahead for your personal events and projects. If you are getting married, you and your partner—who presumably have sources of income—should create a budget that aligns with your financial capacity. Allow your friends to decide whether they want to contribute voluntarily; that way, you preserve your dignity and respect.

Stop exhausting the people in your circle with constant financial demands under the guise of a Committee of Friends.

Be wise. Be considerate.

You feel me?

Sharoneez Emephia