Sweetie, Do You Feel Like Killing Me?

Some time ago, I lived in the same apartment complex as a young married couple. As we became acquainted, I noticed the wife used a separate bedroom from her husband. Initially, I assumed it was to accommodate her personal belongings, given her love for fashion. However, she later confided in me, sharing a shocking story.

This young woman revealed that she had shared a bedroom with her husband since their marriage until she discovered his infidelity. According to her, he engaged in numerous affairs and even began staying out overnight without informing her of his whereabouts. Worse still, he would return without offering any explanation. Deeply hurt by his actions, she admitted that she started entertaining thoughts of killing her husband in his sleep.

One night, she watched him sleeping and felt an overwhelming urge to take a kitchen knife to his throat. Realising the gravity of her thoughts, she decided—for the sake of their children—to move into the guest room permanently. She explained that this physical separation gave her time to cool down and reflect. She hoped that by the time she walked from the guest room to confront her husband, the Holy Spirit would calm her and prevent her from acting impulsively.

This story is profound and speaks volumes.

Considering the rising number of spousal murders, it’s crucial for couples to be more sensitive to each other’s emotions. Repeatedly disregarding a partner’s feelings by engaging in behaviours they’ve expressed discomfort with is unwise. Patience has its limits, and prolonged disrespect can lead to dire consequences.

Regular heart-to-heart conversations are essential. Couples should address issues as they arise, rather than letting them fester. Bottling up grievances only allows resentment to grow, eventually reaching a breaking point.

Never mistake your partner’s love, patience, or understanding for weakness or desperation.

In some cases, a temporary separation may be the best course of action. Time apart can allow the offended partner to process their emotions, forgive, and regain clarity. If separation prevents a situation from escalating to violence, it is worth considering.

It may sound unconventional, but if your partner seems deeply upset or resentful, ask them directly: “Sweetie, do you feel like killing me?” This question might shock them into confronting their feelings and opening up about their frustrations.

We live in challenging times. Many people are under immense pressure, which can strain even the strongest relationships. Be kind to your partner or spouse, but not naïve. Apologise sincerely when you’re in the wrong, and strive to forgive when you’re offended.

Finding a truly compatible partner is rare. If you’re blessed with someone special, cherish and nurture your relationship with wisdom and care.

Do you feel me?

By Sharoneez Emephia