We die here!!!

Imagine living in an apartment complex where not only are all the occupants single, but every other resident—apart from myself—happens to be a single man. If you know anything about men, you would expect a bit of drama now and then, especially when it comes to their romantic relationships.

One beautiful Saturday morning, while I was still lying down in a reflective mood, running through the events of the past week, I suddenly heard a loud female voice. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and banging furiously on the door of one of the single men who lived in the apartment above mine. At first, I tried to figure out what the issue was, but then she started crying and wailing. The next thing I heard sent shivers down my spine. She repeatedly screamed, “We will die here! You are wicked! I was only away for a few days, and you’ve already brought another girl into your apartment! We will die here!”

Are you kidding me? I thought to myself.

Later that day, I finally got the full gist of what had happened. This male neighbour of mine had a regular girlfriend whom I had seen around a couple of times. It seemed she had begun to see herself as the official girlfriend. Unfortunately for her, she showed up unexpectedly, only to find the guy locked inside his apartment. He had recognised her voice and refused to open the door, most likely because he wanted to avoid an embarrassing scene in the complex.

Now, this guy in question is quite good-looking and has a well-paying job that takes him around the world, and I often teased him that he practically lived in the skies! However, he never seemed ready for any serious emotional commitment. During one of our conversations, he mentioned that he wanted to take more courses and professional training to further his career. But, as you might expect, the ladies were not interested in his ambitions—they were drawn to his wealth, charm, and single status.

According to him, he had become wary of inviting female friends to his apartment because, once they saw the glory of his lifestyle and realised the perks of his job, they were instantly smitten. The next thing they would ask was, “When are you meeting my parents?” Since he was not ready for such serious commitments, he kept things casual with the women who threw themselves at him—and those he liked too—until he met this particular one who was ready to die at his doorstep when he refused to let her in because he was with another woman.

This incident made me reflect deeply. What level of insecurity or desperation would make a woman tolerate such blatant disrespect? Rather than confronting the man for his actions, she was instead crying, screaming, and declaring, “We die here!”

That realisation jolted me. I immediately had a serious conversation with myself. I said, Sharoneez, you must work hard and smart—not just to be successful, but to be the PRIZE. A woman of such value that a worthy man would be afraid to toy with you because he knows what he stands to lose.

Are you a single woman reading this? Are you allowing yourself to be disrespected, mistreated, and used simply because you want to live a soft life at someone else’s expense? This is your wake-up call. You are worth much more than that. You can pay your bills, live life on your terms, and build a respectable relationship with a successful man who values you and fears losing you. Through dedication to your job or business, you will grow financially, and your self-worth will be too high for you to ever stand outside a man’s door, crying, “We die here!”

You do not have to die there. Instead, you can live a fulfilling, independent, and beautiful life—so long as you are willing to work hard and smart.

There is value in you, girl.

Do you feel me?

Sharoneez Emephia