Stop being silly: Love yourself first

Acute silliness is when you are the ONLY one prioritising your partner or relationship, while the other person is still feeling and acting single and ‘available’ all around town. A healthy and wholesome relationship requires two consenting adults who love, respect, and prioritise each other above anyone else.

If you are in a relationship with someone and your supposed partner is still flirting and stringing along other people of the opposite sex, if you have an iota of self-love and respect, you should first disconnect emotionally from such a person. Then, start meeting (not sleeping with) new people of the opposite sex to safeguard your heart—until you find someone who values you enough to be fully committed.

These days, the world is increasingly wicked. Many people have successfully trained themselves to be deceptive, deceitful, and heartless, so you cannot afford to be the naive one, no matter how good, kind, or righteous you may be.

Do not be the ONLY one loyal and committed in any relationship. At the same time, the other person is busy ‘freestyling’ all around town, with all their friends of the opposite sex unaware that they are even in a relationship with you.

Keeping a relationship private and hiding the person you are with are not the same.

You can let the people around you—especially those of the opposite sex—know that you are in a relationship with someone special. That way, it is clear to them that you are unavailable for a romantic relationship without necessarily giving out personal details about your partner. That is how to maintain privacy without hiding your relationship.

Also, when you are with your partner—whether you are dating, courting, or however you prefer to define it—and your friends of the opposite sex call you, especially those you know have romantic interests in you, be bold enough to let them know you are with your partner. Do not start playing games, speaking in parables, or using innuendos. Your partner is watching, and they are certainly not a fool. Keep it real—playing games in a relationship is ugly and dishonourable.

If you enter a relationship with someone and later realise they do not possess the qualities you desire in a life partner, it is far more honourable to respectfully let them know. That way, both of you can move on to find someone you are truly compatible with, rather than remaining in a relationship while being disloyal. That is unacceptable.

Your close friends of the opposite sex—those who are part of your life—should be among the first to know that you are in a relationship if there is no hidden agenda with them.

So, if the person you are supposedly in a relationship with is keeping their options open, by all means, you should do the same—until you find someone who believes you are worthy and is ready and willing to commit to you, whether male or female.

A healthy, wholesome relationship is like reading a book together—you must be on the same page at every point for it to be truly enjoyable.

Do not mistake acute silliness for deep love or for being the ‘understanding one’. And certainly, do not be the silly one.

You have just one life to live—make sure you live it fully, loving and pursuing your dreams. Do you feel me?

Much love,

Sharoneez