Love Referrals!!!

In the world we live in today, trust issues pervade almost every aspect of life. Many sensible and well-meaning individuals are reluctant to engage in serious or sensitive dealings with others until they have a clear sense of their background and associations—essentially, a referral. This trend is increasingly shaping romantic relationships as well.

Many people searching for life partners believe that love referrals offer a more reliable way of finding a sensible spouse, and that is the heart of today’s discussion.

For instance, a lot of religious individuals advise singles seeking a good partner to simply visit a place of worship and find a committed member of the congregation—a dedicated worker in the house of God—as a potential spouse.

However, hearing a respected minister of the gospel, who has counselled many, say: “What has being a good usher in a place of worship got to do with being a good wife? Or what has being an excellent tenor vocalist got to do with being a good husband?” truly opens one’s eyes.

In the past, finding a good wife or husband was as simple as showing up at a place of worship. If the person was actively involved in service to God, that was often considered sufficient. But not anymore. Regular attendance at a place of worship is no longer enough. When it comes to relationships and marriage, we are reminded of the old saying: “Who no go, nor know” (meaning, one must experience something to truly understand it).

And indeed, it should be that way—anyone found in the house of God should be transformed… IT OUGHT TO BE SO.

Another perplexing reality we must come to terms with is how an amazing friend, brother, or sister—someone we once proudly introduced as an ideal match—can become a source of immense heartache to their partner. Even we, who once vouched for them, struggle to comprehend the change and the unsettling reports we hear about this same “wonderful person” we thought we knew so well.

Relationships remain one of the greatest revealers of true personalities and character, second only to the word and spirit of God. There is a vast difference between being a good son or daughter to one’s pastor, a good friend, and actually being a person of integrity, kindness, and strong moral character within a relationship. Many have learned this the hard way. After all, how many people openly confess their weaknesses or bad habits to their spiritual leaders? But when a romantic relationship is on the horizon, one suddenly starts hearing admissions like: “I am very stubborn, oh!” or “No one is perfect; everyone has their flaws.” Meanwhile, the church has only ever seen the side that serves as a dedicated usher or a talented singer.

Count yourself fortunate if a potential partner reveals uncomfortable truths about themselves early on—it gives you the power to make an informed choice about whether to proceed or not.

The reality is, people often conceal many aspects of themselves while striving to gain your trust. Just because you know someone from a place of worship does not mean you truly know them. The person you have always seen in one light may not be the same when placed in the context of an intimate relationship or marriage. Ask around!

Finally, always keep this at the forefront of your mind: no matter who is making the recommendation or where it is coming from, you cannot fully understand a person until you take the time to see and know them for yourself.

Do not rely entirely on LOVE REFERRALS—no matter who the referee is.

Do you feel me?

By Sharoneez Emephia